I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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