I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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