My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
