is your mom at the bar?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
