I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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