Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
