Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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