why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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