dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Rumble strips road head = magical
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
