Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
