My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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