She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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