when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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