he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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