On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
this just has baby written all over it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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