you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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