he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
