WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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