Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I don't think brook has ever known best
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
