You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
