See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
