I'm drive I can fine osifer
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize