I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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