i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
