You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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