I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
nutella sex= disaster
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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