butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
