He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
