I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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