don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
