Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
