I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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