pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I want her autograph on my taint
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Randomize
