the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
