I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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