In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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