i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I enjoy the company of your penis
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
