Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize