There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
