Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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