carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
