whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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