you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
