It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
