There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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