hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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