Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
