Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
