U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
