This show inspires me to have sex in space
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
