i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
this hospital has no fireball
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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