Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
