just tell him i said nine months
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's blow job season.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
