New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
