who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
