i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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