I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
