If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
