if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
