i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
