Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
